1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
