so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
