Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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