Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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