That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
