just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
