some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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