Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
