I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
