i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize