Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize