my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize