i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
