i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
