what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
