i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
