so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
