Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
