just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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