ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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