i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize