The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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