thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
