He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
be right there i have to get my cape
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
