Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
