Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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