I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
