Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I deserve this hangover.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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