i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This house was built for laser tag.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
