Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
