And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
