We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
