and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
