Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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