What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
