my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize