The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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