1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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