I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
