so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
