Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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