I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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