ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
