guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
