All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
