I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
