Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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