i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
zippers are such a cool invention
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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