I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
