seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
