sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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