Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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