Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
