Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
