If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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