I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
