pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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