If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
birth control should be required to get into college
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize