bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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