dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
