you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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