After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
