I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
