It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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