do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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